>My excuse for liking the show ‘Tool Academy’.

>Alright, so I don’t typically watch the reality shows that are full of scrawny men who wear giant clocks around their necks and trashy women who prefer sleeping with all contestants to figure out which one will be “the one”, but as I channel surfed late into the night (it was really only, like, nine o’ clock) I fell upon a screen full of excited guys jumping out of a bus, doing cartwheels and numerous other very feminine things and I was utterly intrigued.

My fascination brought me to the fact that I was now drawn into the show “Tool Academy”. Now, most times I would immediately turn the channel and dismiss the fact that I even considered watching it, but that switch in my brain was broken… see, I sat through the entire episode. Apparently, this was the second season of this “Tool Academy” and its purpose is to take total “tools” and turn them into real gentlemen. Urban Dictionary has the definition of a “tool” as this:

“Contrary to what many people (usually tools) think, being a tool has nothing to do with being easily manipulated. Those people are simply “suckers”. In fact, tools often take life too seriously, and therefore try too hard to manipulate others and to win everything, but always playing by the rules of society. Intellectual pursuits are not of any interest to a tool, and people who are interested in them are “stuck-up” or “faggy”. A tool just likes to have a few beers, watch and talk about sports constantly, and refer to women as “sluts” and themselves “players”. Tools are usually borderline retarded, but hide it well because they have the uncanny ability to conform almost perfectly to social norms. If a movie, or song becomes popular in society, the tool will quickly adapt said movie or song as one of their favorites (see Lil’ Jon, Souljah Boy, Boondock Saints). Their “social commentary” is often crudely taken from the last episode of South Park. A tool can usually be spotted wearing a backwards baseball cap and athletic attire, playing beer pong at any large, obnoxious party where loud mainstream rap music is played.”

I know, I laughed, too. But I completely understood the definition once I saw these guys interact with people around them and their poor girlfriends, and their inability to act anything remotely close to a gentleman. These guys were so engrossed with themselves, that I was surprised not to find them locked in a room, making love to a mirror – it was just that bad. I must say, though… this show is absolutely hilarious. These guys are not only “tools”, but they’re also practically brain dead. One guy believed that the word “pissity” actually existed and the most steriod-loving contestant said this sentence after he calmed down from being livid he was on the show – “Alright, I changed my tampon, took some Midol and I’m ready to go back out there.” … really? I don’t see why anyone would not want to watch this show.

There is a positive thing to learn from this show, too. Each couple that is on there is trying to work through their rocky relationship by showing the guy how big of a “tool” he truly is. So, they’re given these competitions against other couples and they must work together to try and win. I really just want to see what guy will be willing to change for his girlfriend or, really, the 100K that is promised in the end.

Sure, some may believe it’s staged and all the relationships are fake, but don’t try to come and burst my bubble; I never get any fun out of most reality shows and it’s fun to see a guy who believes he is God’s gift to man, turn into a guy who doesn’t have to use a bottle of gel a day and can actually treat a woman with respect.

Plus, I want to be able to laugh twice as hard at what ever Joel McHale has to say about the show.

4 thoughts on “>My excuse for liking the show ‘Tool Academy’.”

  1. >Oh, by that definition, I've definitely known a few tools in my day. 🙂 NEVER seen this show, although I haven't been watching much TV lately. I'll have to check an episode if I ever see it on!

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