>I was just writing about how there was nothing on the deck of my mind, waiting to drop off into words, when I realized a little pickle that I have run into in life. This really sounds like I just went to look for something to complain/write about, but I promise that it was Facebook’s fault. I was just doing my hourly lurking, looking at every ones status’, when I came across my friends update that she was officially a junior in college (Hey, Leah!) and I was suddenly completely bummed out.
See, I graduated in 2007, and with the correct calculations, I should be a junior… but I’m not. Instead, I’m a sophomore still and I feel so far behind in my education that it makes my stomach turn each time. I suppose a detailed explanation could give away the reason as to why I’m still floating in my education bowl, so I’ll keep it brief and as undramatic as possible.
My parents have this ideal image of me being some crazy successful daughter. One who will never have to depend on a man for her well-being or for anything for that matter. There is definitely something that is skewed with their view, though. They believe that my time at work is more valuable than my time in school; therefore, I must work more than I go to school. It’s quite the contradiction since my education will overall determine my career and all of this independence on my own; however, they suddenly become hearing impaired and blind once I try to explain the logicality of it all. They won’t hear my need to take off time from work and have more time for school. They throw back their childhood stories of eating noodles, working all day and then going to school in the meantime and how they made it to be successful. By the time the stories are over, I want to shout,
“THAT’S REALLY GREAT. I’M TERRIBLY EXCITED FOR YOUR SUCCESS, BUT THIS IS ME. I WANT TO RECEIVE MY AA BEFORE I AM 30 AND MY MAJOR BEFORE I AM 53.”
But… I can’t. They don’t care. I’m in the wrong, apparently.
So, it’s days like these and status’ like those that just bum me out. I’m more than excited for someone to finally be where they want to be, but why can’t that just be me for once? I want to go to school Monday through Friday instead of working those days. I don’t want all of this crazy stress at the age of 20. It’s unbearable some days.
I guess what it boils down to is that one day I’ll be done and one day I’ll have a major. By that time, I’m sure, the rapture will happen and I’ll just write for Heaven.