>I cannot understand this. I do not know how to correctly dissect what I have been coming across recently. I know what is about to be said may sound strange, but I guess it is worth a shot. Again, this is only just recently, but every song that catches my attention, and makes the machine in my mind click into analyzation mode, all sing about one thing: light.
Wait. Before I lose you.
Whether the songs are Christian or secular, they all contain a line talking about light breaking forth to cure some kind of darkness. I think the epiphany hit me as I was drying my hair in a towel, and Pandora was playing in the background. All three of these songs popped on in a row:
“Neon” by John Mayer (the live version, which is 19x better).
“Fix You” by Coldplay – “Lights will guide you home/ and ignite your bones/ and I will try to fix you.”
“Collide” by Howie Day (which I almost skipped) – “The dawn is breaking/ a light shining through.”
So, technically, “Neon” may not really qualify for the one liner, but neon does help in LIGHTing signs. But for the sake of argument, I have had a song on repeat in my car for the past week. It is a song by Phil Wickham called “Mystery”. I literally feel myself become engulfed and soaked into the lyrics, that I almost break into tears when these words flood:
“Break down the door, come inside/
Shine down Your bright light/
I need a lamp for my feet, I need a lamp for my feet/
I want to hear the thunder of who You are/
To be captured inside the wonder of who You are/
I want to live I want to breathe/
To search out Your heart and all of Your mysteries.”
I cannot begin to put into words what I feel when I am screaming out these words in my car. I keep wondering if something is broken inside of me, and I am just subconsciously ignoring it. Is God speaking through all of these songs to me? When my thoughts become overwhelming and the truth is shut out, is this God reminding me to pay attention? Helping me to keep forward and do not give into whatever crack is trying to become bigger? Maybe it is dealing with the fact that I have been praying for light to break forth in lives around me? Maybe God is answering in this odd way?
I have been praying a lot about light in lives; some awakening. In many different situations, whether it is regarding kids or friends or my family. I have just been praying for God’s light to shine into some figurative, dark tunnel that feels utterly trapping. God knows what He’s up to. I want to continue to listen, to seek and to pray. He is healing something and someone. I just know it. This felt so, so, so good to get out. I guess that is a first step of healing.