>June 15, 2010

>It has been since the 15th day of June since you decided you would leave. I haven’t been able to fill the void in my heart that only a brother can fill. My efforts in trying to reattach the blood line that we were both born into seem futile; you cut it on a consistent and daily basis. I’m fully aware that you want your line with your Creator cut, too… and I think that is what hurts most. You grew up forming that relationship yourself. Molding and growing into the man that God has wanted you to become; fighting the battles that raged inside, all with God standing by your side. Who would have thought you would turn on the truth that if everyone is against you, God is for you? I don’t understand and I can’t understand.

What I do know is that you are forever my brother and forever I will love you. I may not agree with your decisions, but I hope your consequences do not drag you into the crevices that possibly await at the end of this crooked path. I feel like you know this already, but I also feel like you were sinking for a long time… and it went so unrecognized. Because you were so closed in and threw away the key for anyone to get in, how could we have known? I wish I had gone searching for the key. I wish that my senses were intact and my eyes had been more open. I apologize now, and I hope that it isn’t too late.

More than anything, I pray that God is going to use these rebellious decisions in your story with Him. There is this wonderful artist who is ready to create a masterpiece, but he needs you to come back to Him first. He’s a jealous God, and He will be persistent in getting you back. He will chase you down to the end of the rope. You were His first.

Please don’t give up the good fight, little brother.  Please come home, but most of all… please listen when God is trying to break through the darkness. I love you so much.

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