Only so much.

Something happens when I take a few steps back. The fuller, larger picture comes into view and my racing mind slows. There’s nothing quite like a new perspective; a shift in paradigm. And these are the thoughts that have been rolling around in my mind. I have seen the importance of stopping the vehicle that I call life and getting out for once.

To scream.
To cry.
To laugh a mad laugh.
To run.
To punch the battering winds.
To have knees-meet-concrete.

Because lately, I have been in nothing but ‘Drive’. I have had the gas pedal pressed down with such a vigor that I’ve scared myself. I wasn’t acknowledging that the gas gauge was on empty, and there was and is no such thing as a reservoir tank in this vehicle. It was in these moments of getting out and doing all of the above-mentioned strange actions that I realized that life isn’t supposed to be played in fast forward. I’m understanding now how incredibly important it is to stop, and more importantly, understanding that it is OK to stop.

It took a call out of work, a dozen cookies to rise in the oven, staring out of a window into a dreary day and a talk with God. And I must admit, waking up to a new day to try again with a full tank is such a blessing. Strangely, this stop lead me to be thankful that God gave us 24 hour days. Because only so much work can be missed, only so many cookies can rise in an oven and only so much staring out of a window can occur. The next day is an entire new 24 hours to take another step back and see that he’s still writing, he’s still guiding and he’s still there to put the key in the ignition again.

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