I often wonder what it looks like when the pen is set down and the exhale of completion is emitted. When I am soul-to-face with you, will you bring out the dusty projector? Show me my life in fast-forward? Maybe we will sit and laugh and cry and feel the overwhelming joy of re-birth together. The progression and variations of my life will play through the spectrums of light that you created. “What irony!” we will shout. We grow in these moments together, reaching silence towards the ending. I will watch as my life fades and begins all at once. The screen will switch to you and a storybook. I will watch as the pencil, with bite marks and an abused eraser, is set down for the first and last time. I will see a trash bin in the corner, overflowing with crumpled papers, each labeled Charis. Maybe when the film reaches its final cut, I will hope you let me hug you.
These things, I often wonder.