This has been a season of grieving. Grieving from all the things that continue to make little piles in my lack of understanding. In these moments of grieving, I am finding a contradicting strength that pokes its way through. This weekend, the strengths were God’s goodness in nature, friends, trees too tall to comprehend, shooting stars and miles upon miles of sunflowers.
Nature, because in the midst of crouching in fields to catch a still-picture of what I saw, I noticed little bees and the way they never gave up. They never gave up on finding whatever goodness it is they find in a flower. All along, they’re so subtly cultivating new life for these flowers. I know it sounds so simple and 5th grade, but I needed this.
I saw how my friends encouraged me through words and provided needed laughter. Laughter is a tickle of life after all.
I stood in front of trees so quiet and secure beneath the sun. I became a speck for all of them to see.
I climbed onto a cabin rooftop and felt the cool Wisconsin breeze on my toes. I saw more shooting stars than I perhaps will ever see in my lifetime. I spoke in truth and in faith of how I love this Man who says that, no matter what, He is faithful and He will never leave … and He suddenly gave the most intricate, slowest, and most beautiful shooting star. I’d like to claim that as an “I love you, too.”
Then there were these sunflowers. My God, what beauty have you constructed. There it all was – the bees, the flowers and everything benefitting from one another. I walked through these little wonders and found how it really is a beautiful moment when these flowers turn towards the sun, no matter where it is in the sky.
And this is all of what I needed. There is a persistence in all of nature. It is thriving to live, so it will hang its head for rain. Nature is the most beautiful description of dependence upon God. Cultivation of life through community, and a constant give and take. And I am so sure that through the downpours or droughts, there is the same persistence. A constant wait for it to finish or start.
I must be a little bee. So persistent, recognizing the cultivation of new life … all while waiting with You.