I’ve been thinking a lot about the concept of surrender. I don’t believe I’ve ever really had a firm grasp on what it means to surrender something – whether a tangible something or a collection of thoughts that have gathered and seem much too overwhelming to sort anymore. But I am learning. I am learning that surrender is a very huge act between one and God, and that it can come in many different ways, but the heart behind it remains the same.
It happened about two weeks ago. I was on my hour and a half drive to work and decided to listen to the latest message out of City Beautiful Church. Collin was speaking on what it meant to be present in your current whatever-it-may-be, wherever-it-may-be. He referenced much scripture (James 4:13-17) in order to pinpoint how we are called to live in the present, and worrying about what is to come is like “living an edited life”.
Fully aware that we are called to live in the present, I started the inspection of myself and where I was choosing not to living in the present, or where I was attempting to play editor. I started to understand that I wasn’t fully present at my current job. Justifying the three and a half hour commute wasn’t working anymore, so I told God that I was ready to be present. I apologized and drove on. And I knew that I meant it. Every part of me felt free after I told God I would be present.
Now, you must know, I had been praying for a new job for the past three months. I could no longer take the commute and I was becoming cranky. So that day I arrived at the office, charged to be present. It wasn’t two hours later that I had gotten a phone call for a job interview. It wasn’t ten minutes after I got off the phone and I told my boss, that they told me they were bringing someone in to interview that day. It wasn’t fifteen seconds later that I was about to throw my hands up to rejoice.
He is faithful. He is so faithful in our surrender. While this is a small example, it is a step for me to learn something extremely important …
Surrender is an act of the heart, mind, and soul. It is in the moment that all three of these line up and commit to the surrender of whatever-it-may-be, wherever-it-may-be that it is true surrender. There is no formula and no magic move you can make. It’s between you and God and that moment.
Another thing that I am learning in surrender is that to surrender something doesn’t mean that it’s easier to put it out of your mind. It means that you invite the Lord into it and walk with Him. And let me tell you, it is difficult. It’s difficult because we are human and we are prone to find fixes. We have tape, super glue and nameless other easy, temporary fixes. It isn’t about distracting yourself with other thoughts, it really is about countless moments of surrender until your heart, mind and soul finally meet in agreement. And God honors that.
He is a good God who is faithful whether we are or not. All He asks for is surrender. In that surrender, He takes His tools, paintbrushes, pieces of whatever we brought to Him and He builds. He is a crafter; the most creative Being there is. And it is our surrender that gives Him the go-ahead.
P.S. I did get that job and I start Monday.