When the Light Goes Dim

Have you ever had a season where it felt like the lights were dim on the inside? Where there is a passing car now and then, only to remind you that life is still in gear and it is still out there? I guess this can also be described as a spiritually dry season. I see the zooming car, feeling the warmth and breeze of its pass. But it still falls silent afterward.

This morning, in my prayers with God, I told Him I am choosing to praise Him in the silence. I know He is still with me and for me, but it feels like calling into the wilderness. Or out into the empty, quiet roads in my case. I pray for others and pray that my prayers aren’t just cymbals banging together in His ears or the ears of others. Right now, it feels like I’m cheating because it is so quiet. Isn’t that strange?

The part in Ephesians 5, where it says, “Wake up, o’ sleeper, rise from the dead and Christ will shine on you” came to my mind this morning, too. I thought about reading it on the bus, and when I opened my Bible app, there was Ephesians 5 staring at me. I am trying not to read too much into it, but I still think the Lord can do whatever He pleases.

Ephesians 5, with its urges to live in a holy manner and walk in light, beckons the darkened parts of me, the unsaid sins, the mismatched words to actions. It is a kind of beckoning that seems a little surprising, like a surprise from a landlord to see if their house is still presentable. It is always the little, forgettable things that find their eye. This is due, mainly, to the fact that they know what it means to have a home that is ready for an owner. And the tricky part is, is that it’s not so much about perfection as it is maintenance.

In this reflective, most important time of Lent, I see where my dwelling – the home to His Spirit – could feel stifled. Perhaps it is His ultimate intention to bring me deeper into His Dwelling place, but also a reminder of what it means to follow in His steps. Those steps into humble, “goodness, righteousness and truth” are towards the light and out of the dimly lit room I have found myself in.

“But everything exposed by the light becomes visible—and everything that is illuminated becomes a light. This is why it is said:

‘Wake up, o’ sleeper,
    rise from the dead,
    and Christ will shine on you.'”

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